I’m just sad. Dejected. Exhausted. Feeling worthless. I try to pull myself together and put on a big smile, but sometimes it just doesn’t work. Trying to fool myself. Of course it doesn’t work. Who am I kidding. Since when are things in my life going my way??
I wish I was someone else, somewhere else. A happy person without depression, anxiety, bad luck and this constant feeling of despair. What’s wrong with me??? Why can’t I just be normal? I mean, everyone have their bad days and periods in life, but it’s not right to feel like this almost all the time. Right? I shouldn’t have to feel like shit. I have such good friends, a loving family, a good education and already two job offers. I do look good and I have no problem getting dates, even though I don’t know if I will ever meet just the right boy for me… Love is the best dog in the world and I know that I am a smart girl. Not at my top potential at the moment though. Here it is again, I’m so sick of not having recovered after being burnt out. It was years ago, come on!
Not to give up. How? I need to focus on the good things. I’m going to Uppsala again in two weeks. Staying for a little more than a week. It’ll be nice. Need to get away from my own thoughts for a while. And talking to Anna, Monika or Ann-Sofie is always nice. They are so sweet and smart. I miss them a lot.
And hanging out with Martin is always nice.
I think I will watch a movie now. Light a lot of candles and cuddle up in the couch with Love and a blanket. Drink some mulled wine and perhaps eat a Lucia bun. Yes, I’ll do that.
Yes, I know you are right. It’s just life… Thanks